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Peanut fall? Peanut, a melding of Mr. Burns and the Monopoly Guy, plus a healthy dose of allergens. Is Mr. Peanut sexy? Hell no. Is this Mr. Peanut porn shoot photo real?

Is it a staged piece of art to make us all feel bad that we have seen such a thing and wondered if there were any jokes on set about being salted?

I don't have the answers to these questions. All I have is what appears to be Mr. Peanut on the happy end of mouth lovin'.

But it does stand as a testament to the breadth and scope of Rule Cartoons, insects, wild beasts? These things are amateur hour.

Someone out there is delving into anthropomorphic legumes. That shit is tight. I searched high and low for a video clip to come along with this one still image, but I was unsuccessful.

Of course my hands were cramped by this point and typing was an issue, plus my computer kept correcting me to Mr. Penis, which will find you all kinds of pics and videos, but very few that I actually saved to my hard drive.

I hope there's a legitimate, full-length Mr. Peanut porn out there somewhere, and that during the movie, he speaks with a hoity-toity New England accent and exclaims loudly about how he has so many dry-roasted bitches up on his nuts.

And after the movie, there's a secret scene in which Mr. Mostly because I want to hear Gilbert Gottfried or the guy who impersonates him in the throes of passion.

Don't you judge me. What's the most erotic thing you can think of? Is it humping in the dairy aisle?

Is it Adam Tod Brown in a bathtub full of gravy? Is it a terrifying, alopecia-suffering spider woman with multiple eyes and legs? Is it that?

If it's that, you're in luck. If it's one of the first two, maybe I can help you out there, too, send me an email later.

For you arachnophiles, someone did make spider porn, and it's so much worse than the name suggests. Like maybe you just read the segment on panda porn and saw the pictures and thought, "Well, I feel bad inside, but it's not like I want to use steel wool on my brain and genitals.

As you can see, this is the worst thing that has ever happened to you. I'm sorry. Even a sweet pair of perky Sorens can't compensate for that mug.

If your penis responds to this with anything other than a high-pitched shriek, like the sound from a boiling kettle, as it bids a full-on retreat into your abdomen, then you are dirty in the soul.

Your spiritual self is made of the latent energy expelled when dinosaurs shat themselves to death eons ago.

The story in this cinematic gem is that our protagonist -- let's call him Russell -- is a foul-mouthed gentleman looking through boxes in an attic.

He's dropping F-bombs and hates his job, near as I can figure. And he's being spied on by an awful, naked spider lady.

Spider lady creeps out and Russell runs in a panic, as anyone should, because fuck that. But when I say fuck that, I don't mean like "fuck" that. I just mean eew.

He runs downstairs and there's a locked gate of some kind, and -- this isn't relevant, but I need you to know this -- there's a bulldog sitting on the other side of the gate staring at him.

I like to think that someone brought it to the set that day because they like hanging out with their dog and thought the dog might enjoy watching a spider porn shoot.

Later they went out for burgers. One minute into the video and the spider lady is on Russell. He's screaming, he's panicking, and within about 10 seconds, he's enjoying the sweet sensations and an arachno-BJ.

There's a solid 11 minutes left of this that unfold exactly like every porno you've ever seen, only awful.

That may be the case here. And no, nothing that gets posted in this forum should consist of anything that would mark the poster as FBI-watchlist-worthy, that much I will say for absolute certain.

Rainwalker: Kinky, yes. And as far as the Marvel girls go, I've seen fan-fics where Ororo has done I don't know if this counts, but I've had a few dreams involving me and a few girls in the Yugi-verse Ahem, naughty.

Rainwalker's eyes nearly pop out of his head. Well, White does. And I'll admit, once when I was in college, I was at my then-girlfriend's house like I used to do, just visiting and all But my current situation aside come on, buddy, my eyes are two feet further up : usually smaller guys, for reasons I couldn't even begin to guess except perhaps that I am by nature rather small for my generation--I'm a full 2" shorter than the projected average for GenTech women--so the idea of being tall just doesn't translate to me , and not always--in fact, not even usually --in sexual situations.

Weirdly enough, given that nobody's mentioned this thread again until today, I had a dream last night that I was Johan picking out tomatoes at the local grocery store don't ask, I don't know either--I don't even have a kitchen right now!

No idea who he is, I saw him in an eyecatch after 5Ds one week. And while I'm not sure where these count, I've also dreamed of being an unknown male actor playing Mark Cohen in Rent , an unknown British gentleman from circa the turn of the last century, a Camelot-era farmer, and of being a girl trying to pass for a man disguised as Jack Sparrow in my defense, I was very sick and under the influence of lots of NyQuil when I had the latter.

It's a pretty common theme in my dreams for me to turn up male. In other news, what do you know. I put my hoodie back on over my shirt, and suddenly Mr.

Creepy Eyes across the way doesn't see anything the least bit interesting about me. Get out of the library, you damn perv. I've been having a hell of a lot more bondage-themed dreams lately, only the one using it is my girlfriend heh heh I very much enjoy those dreams.

White: Considering all the stuff I've heard about and seen in the last couple of years, I'm almost afraid to imagine what goes on in your dreams where your girlfriend has you under bondage Story Story Writer Forum Community.

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